dying

im dying. goodbye everyone.

WEKEKEKE

Making someone's day is awesome. It's amazing that one person can do one simple thing and just brighten another person's day.

People should try a little bit harder.

My Name is Nick

You have people that call me a sweetheart, then you have people that call me a douche. People call me one of the simplest people in the world, then other people call me one of the most confusing people in the world. People say it's almost impossible to talk to me, while others claim they can tell me just about anything. Some feel like I'm a center of gossip and spill every secret I know yet others know that I'd never betray one of my friend's trust.

It's so funny how my persona gets so much analysis. Just chill hahah. I'll probably like you more if you're chill too. Honestly, I'm just Nick. An 18 year old that enjoys bumming around and getting by at Rutgers.

This break

has made me realize just how different high school friends are from college friends. I mean, everyone knows that people always have a clear distinction between high school and college friends, but who would have thought that it feels different missing college friends than it does missing high school friends. I think it's more because in college, you spend so much time with them, considering you live together and pretty much have all the freedom in the world. You can just walk down the hall, up a flight of stairs or down a block and meet up with a familiar faces. It's so weird being back at home now. You no longer have that luxury of having numerous people to talk to, chill with and bond with within arms reach.

So today we're planning on getting trapped at Shane's house. It should be pretty fun. I'm planning on bringing my laptop and just chilling with the usuals.

Oh, and yesterday was interesting. I got a door closed on my head by some quirky girl, a lecture from a short girl and an ear-rape by countless korean people (yuck).

3 Weeks

Three weeks of winter break... I feel like the first week is going to be alright, but I have a feeling I'm going to start missing college pretty quickly.

Maybe I'll be proven wrong though - hopefully.

Fuck.

Remember how I was late for my second exam for my computers class that was worth 20 percent of my grade? I ended up getting an 100 on the test, and she put it into the gradebook as an 100. Then on the last day of the semester she changed it to a 50... What bullshit. Even though it's a bad thing to say, every student bases how much he/she needs to study from how well he/she does on the previous exams. If you have a 100 in the class, you're not going to study that much for the final exam or put much effort into the homeworks or extra credit options. If she fucking made my grade a 50 when I got it, then I still would have been able to get an A in the class, instead she randomly changes it at the end of the semester and gives my grade a 10 point blow. Honestly. People are sucking her dick and doing extra credit and shit to get extra points to boost their grades up. How does that reflect any bit of intelligence or knowledge of the course at all? MATLAB? Who the fuck gives a shit if you can sit through a lecture and answer a pop quiz question or go listen to some guest speaker and jot down some feedback about them? That's not what your grade in the class should be based on. It should be based on the exams, homeworks and projects...

So annoying. So that killed my 4.0. Was sure I had straight A's and then randomly checked Sakai to see that she changed my exam grade to a 50. What the fuck.

Lol

Rutgers is such a shitty college, and the people here are so scrubby hahah. It's awesome.

Done with finals

Even though I'm done with finals, I still stayed up all night, just chilling with people and doing random shit. College is awesome. You can find ways to pass the time no matter what hour it is. Even if friends have final exams to study for, it's so simple to edge them into watching movies with you or just fooling around, engaging in conversations filled with nothing more than meaningless babble.

After I finished my last final, it was really an uplifting feeling. It was nice to know that I was completely done with the semester and managed to get through it without really working at all. Now I get to just chill at Rutgers until it closes on Thursday and then head back to EB to reminisce with old friends for three weeks. Winter break should be fun.

As of now 2/4 of my grades are officially loaded onto my.rutgers.edu - A in chem and calc. Lol.

Damn

Some people are mean.

Up Late

Studying for chem final in 6 hours. Poop.

High off caffeine

So I started studying for my calc final a few hours ago. Went to the bathroom to take a dump and thought it was okay to just spit on the bathroom floor since the custodians would clean it up. Went to the bathroom again later and, forgetting about my spit, stepped on it.

Karma's a bitch, and my karma is pretty shitty.

College

Don't worry guys. College is like 30 percent you and 70 percent luck. It's so random. Do you really think a college is able to make n number of correct choices when n is as big as how many students are applying to that college? Just because you don't get into one college doesn't mean anything. Just wait for your other decisions to come in and everything should be okay if you're a good applicant.

You do play a factor in college decisions, but luck does too.

Finals

Finals are coming up.

I have a computers exam this Friday, and three exams next week. As of now, I have A's in all my classes, and I'd like to keep it that way. Hopefully I can pull it off and do well on all of my finals, though I am quite reluctant to study. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to have to brush up on a little bit of chem and look over some of the crappy memorization junk in calc. Yep, after these finals the semester is over, and I can head back home - even though it'd be pretty fun to just stay at Rutgers and chill, too bad they close the dorms.

This weekend is the weekend that everyone is supposed to go partying since it's the weekend before most finals and the last time to go out before winter break. I dunno if I want to go out though. Too much bad stuffs. My health is going down the drain.

On a totally unrelated note, I've come to realize that I'm totally missing out...

Me

It's not true. You do not learn something new every single day. Some days are just filled with meaningless fluff and mindless babble, void of anything worth taking note of. I've been having quite a few of those days recently. Today I learned something though. I learned something really important about myself.

Decisions decisions decisions.

Hm. I guess some choices in life are pretty important... I've made a few of these choices without much thought, and I think that's a pretty bad thing.

At least this decision isn't too important. Now that I think about it, at least this decision isn't even important.

Last night we smashed like 200 fortune cookies glued together. I searched through a few of the fortunes and found a really deep one. Or at least I thought it was deep when I was completely shitfaced.

You're nothing special.

I'm nothing special. I'm pretty much mediocre. I'm stupid at best. I'm never going to amount to anything.

You're nothing special. You're pretty much mediocre. You're stupid at best. You're never going to amount to anything.

What a negative mentality you might say but it's true nevertheless. No one in my graduating class will amount to anything. Most likely no one I will meet in my lifetime will amount to anything. No one will contribute anything even near substantial to society or have their mark on history. No one has a unique enough personality, impressive enough intellect or canny enough wit to consider themselves special or even note-worthy. There are too many people in this world to consider any one of us important. People need to understand how insignificant we are.

So let me take the easy route through life and just bum. Why waste time working when, in the end, none of us will achieve anything timeless?

You're nothing special. I'm nothing special. Quit lying to yourself - it's unhealthy.

Hahah

If you're good at talking you can get anything you want.